In my experience, there are two kinds of conflict: the kind that can’t be stopped and the kind that never should’ve started.

An example of the first kind of conflict is Paul’s conflict with the Corinthians. It concerned vital matters of Christian faith and practice, such as a false spirituality based on something other than Christ crucified (1 Corinthians 1:10-4:21), sexual immorality (5:1-13, 6:1-20), abuse of Christian fellowship (11:17-34), misuse of spiritual gifts (12:1-14:40), and denial of Christ’s resurrection (15:1-58). It couldn’t be stopped without harming the Corinthians’ spiritual life or compromising their testimony to Jesus Christ (e.g., 15:12-19). The gospel itself and the lifestyle that flows from it were at stake in Paul’s conflict with the Corinthians.

An example of the second kind of conflict is Corinthians suing one another in pagan law courts. In 1 Corinthians 6:7-8, Paul writes:

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

These conflicts never should’ve started because Christians should not sin against one another in the first place. And if they do, they should resolve their disputes within the church, not outside of it (6:1-6).

Paul’s words remind us of three important theological truths.

First, the Christian life is a life of victory over sin. One of my favorite hymns is Charles Wesley’s “O, for a Thousand Tongues to Sing,” which includes this line: “He breaks the power of canceled sin.” Through his death, resurrection, and pouring out of the Holy Spirit, Christ does two things: he cancels our sin and he breaks its power over us. In theological jargon, he justifies us and sanctifies us. The Corinthians were resisting the sanctifying work of Christ in their lives. They were being defeated by sin’s hold on their lives rather than gaining victory over it through Christ.

Second, the essence of the sinful life is self over others. The cause of the Corinthian lawsuits was twofold: “you yourselves cheat and do wrong.” Why do we cheat? Why do we wrong others? To gain an advantage for ourselves, even if this costs another person something. A husband cheats on his wife. He gains sexual pleasure. The cost to her is sorrow, anger, and in some cases disease. A mother abuses her child. She gains an emotional release of her anger; the kid bears bruises and scars, some of which are physical.

Third, the essence of the sanctified life is self for others. Paul asks two questions: “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” Paul is not condoning injustice; remember, he tells the Corinthians to resolve their conflicts in church (6:1-6). Rather, he is teaching us to replace retribution with forgiveness. Underlying Paul’s questions is the example set by Christ on the cross, who “[gave] himself as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Shouldn’t we, in our conflicts, imitate him?