First Corinthians 7:1-7 has sometimes been interpreted as a celibate apostles’ concession of marriage to Christians who otherwise can’t practice self-control. In previous Daily Words, I have argued against this (mis)interpretation. In review, here are my three reasons:

First, verse 1 states the Corinthians’ motto of extreme asceticism, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” The NIV mistranslates this verse as, “It is good for a man not to marry.” In turn, this mistranslation frames the passage with the wrong question. Verses 2-6 do not answer the question, “Should unmarried persons marry?” but “Should married persons have sexual intercourse?” Paul’s answer to this latter question is affirmative.

Second, verses 2-4 contrast the immorality of prostitution with the mutuality of Christian marriage. The Corinthians’ extreme asceticism led some of them to consort with prostitutes. For Paul, the solution to this sexual immorality is sexual intercourse in a marriage characterized by the spouses’ mutual possession of, obligation to, and authority over the other’s body.

Third, verses 5-6 offer a concession to the Corinthian ascetics. Paul allows them to fast sexual intercourse in marriage for purposes of spiritual formation, as long as the fast is time-delimited and mutual. Otherwise, he views regular sexual relations within marriage as an aid to sanctification, helping spouses resist satanic temptation and practice self-control.

All in all, verses 1-6 offer a powerful defense of Christian marriage against both extreme asceticism and extreme libertinism.

But we should always remember that Paul, who offered this powerful defense, was himself celibate. So was Jesus, who affirmed marriage by performing his first miracle—turning water into wine—at a wedding (John 2:1-11). Remembering the celibacy of Paul and Jesus helps us make sense of verse 7:

I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

In my experience as a pastor, I have counseled three kinds of singles. The first are celibate by choice. The second are celibate by circumstance or the choice of others. Either they have not found a spouse or a spouse has divorced them. And the third are single but not celibate. We should, as far as I am concerned, affirm the first group, create an environment that facilitates Christian dating for the second group, and counsel the third group toward the biblical options of celibacy or marriage.

Paul, for reasons that we will talk about in future Daily Words on chapter 7, prefers celibacy. But personal preference is not apostolic command, and Paul wisely roots the choice of celibacy or marriage in God’s grace-gift to the individual. And those gift vary between individuals.

Marriage is a grace-gift of God, which most of us will receive. Celibacy is a grace-gift of God, which many of us will receive. Whichever gift we receive, God wants us to open and enjoy it, living our lives to the full as either married or celibate.

Is this how you live your life?