The Book of Proverbs teaches us that if we want to live the good life, we must control our anger.
Anger destroys relationships by introducing conflict into otherwise healthy relationships. This is true in marriage:
Better to live in a desert
than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife (21:19).
It goes without saying that a quarrelsome and ill-tempered husband is also hard to live with.
More generally, anger poisons all personal relationships:
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension,
but a patient man calms a quarrel (15:18).
As a north wind brings rain,
so a sly tongue brings angry looks (25:23).
Stone is heavy and sand a burden,
but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.
Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,
but who can stand before jealousy? (27:3-4)
An angry man stirs up dissension,
and a hot-tempered one commits many sins (29:22).
Notice in 29:22 that anger leads not merely to “dissension” but to “many sins.” Several years ago, my father pointed out to me that many of the televangelists who had been caught with their pants down were also very angry men. I’ve been wary of angry preachers ever since.
Anger damages personal relationships, but it also damages society and politics. This is equally true of angry politicians and of angry citizens:
A king’s wrath is a messenger of death,
but a wise man will appease it (16:14).
A king’s rage is like the roar of a lion,
but his favor is like dew on the grass (19:12)
Mockers stir up a city,
but wise men turn away anger (29:8).
Given the harm that anger does to relationships, what should we do?
Proverbs 19:19 advises us to let the angry person experiences the full consequences of his or her action.
A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty;
if you rescue him, you will have to do it again (19:19).
Presumably, the “hot-tempered man” in this proverb has committed a crime or a social offense requiring reparation. If that person pays a high cost for anger, he or she will be unlikely to be angry in that way again. On the other hand, if you let the person off scot-free, you’ll have to deal with his or her anger again in the future. Sometimes, it turns out, the only way to truly “rescue” a person is to do nothing.
Proverbs also gives us a positive way to deal with anger, one based on wisdom:
A man’s wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense (19:11).
There are two elements of this positive way: First, you must be patient. An angry person tends to evoke anger in us. A wise person has a long fuse. Second, you must forgive. Look again at the Proverbs quoted above. The wise “calm” the angry. They “appease” the angry. They “turn away” anger. They “overlook an offense.” There is, of course, such a thing as “righteous angry,” in which you are within your moral rights to be mad at someone. But a wise person never chooses righteous anger over reconciliation.
GeorgePWood.com 
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