One Easter, when I was a young child, my mother was trying to take a picture of my sister and me in our holiday finery. I was anxious for the picture to be taken so I could get down to the serious business of hunting for candy-filled eggs, but my sister—as she is wont to do—was not cooperating. She was laughing, twirling, and otherwise having a fine time. In exasperation, I frowned, harrumphed, and finally stomped my foot.
Unfortunately, my father caught all this on the family’s Super-8 movie camera. The sight of a five-year-old in a three piece suit stomping his patent-leather-shod foot is a source of endless embarrassment to me now, but of great hilarity to my family and friends. And it’s also a lesson to us about the necessity of emotional self-control: Keep your emotions in check, or you’ll look like (and in fact be) a fool.
Consider the following relevant proverbs:
A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Prov. 12:16).
A patient man has great understanding,
but a quick-tempered man displays folly (14:29).
A man’s wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense (19:11).
A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control (29:11).
The difference between emotional wisdom and emotional folly is a matter of timing and volume. A fool is annoyed “at once” and is “quick tempered.” By contrast, a wise person is “patient” and capable of overlooking the triggering offense. And a fool gives “full vent” to anger. He doesn’t hold back. A wise person does hold back. He or she may feel more strongly about an issue than they let on.
The wise person’s emotional response to an issue is measured, but so are his or her words:
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered (17:27).
We express our negative emotions nonverbally, of course: through grimaces and clenched fists and fighting stances. But it is with our words that our lack of emotional self-control finds its most damaging expression. I can laugh off your frowning at me, but if you insult me and call me mean names, that hurts. No doubt I said some nasty things in that video I told you about. Thankfully, the Super-8 movie camera didn’t record sound.
Unfortunately, we sometimes like our emotional war of words. We want to do damage to others. But Proverbs 16:32 says,
Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
Sometimes, peace is more important than winning.
A lack of emotional self-control damages relationships, but it also hurts the self.
A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones (14:30).
So keep your emotions in check. Doing so will protect you and others.
Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control (25:28).
A final word to the wise, from me, not Proverbs: Make sure dad doesn’t have a Super-8!
Copyright © 2008 by George P. Wood
GeorgePWood.com 